"What's this?"
"It's a box"
"Is it a present?"
"I don't know."
"Well, what is it?"
"I don't know. Could you just leave it alone?"
"It's for me isn't it?"
"Um. No."
"Yes. It is."
"No. And could ya shut up and not make a big deal out of it?"
"Why?!?! And it's for me isn't it?"
"Um. No."
The worst part of this conversation was that it was not with the 9 year old, or the 11 year old in the house.
It was with the 45 year old.
The 45 year old who can read, to see clear as day, that this ginormous ready post box came from the ex's brother for the boys.
And in all honesty, I wanted to return it to sender. I mean, who knows what could be in there?
In 10 years (yes, longer than we've been divorced) the boys have never gotten Christmas gifts from this Uncle. Never. Yet, here was the box, dripping with guilt, and rattling with unknown sounds.
*sigh*
I opened the box to find two gifts, wrapped from their cousin. Closer investigation revealed Star Wars Legos, and while they are a bit two years ago on the Christmas list, the boys will love them. Enclosed was a card that I will save for a later time.
Why?
Because the card read...
Thinking of you both during this, the most difficult Christmas of your lives. 'R' (Yes, they used his proper name, not "your father", not "your Dad", his proper name) will live on in our memories. Love 'R', 'Y', and 'B' insert last name. (Again, not "Uncle R" or your Uncle, just his name, AND they used their last name!)
Let's digest this, shall we? The most difficult Christmas Of you lives... Hmmmm. I'm thinking the Christmases he chose not to spend with them could rank up as more difficult. Or how about the one when he was in jail? Yeah. This one will be sad, but it's not a choice. And truthfully, he hasn't seen them for Christmas in four years. So sad, yes. Difficult, maybe. Most difficult? No.
And really? Could he not just call him their father? And, is it necessary to sign your full names to the card?
*sigh*
Yes.
It was wonderful that they sent gifts and thought of the boys. They will enjoy them and will send along a thank you. But if they even remotely think that I'm going to allow them to rip off the band aid and re-expose their wounds...
...they've got another thing coming.
I believe we have the same EX-inlaws. I'm not even kidding. They have got to be the same people. There cannot possibly be TWO families who are so completely dysfunctional. I am so happy you are there to act as a buffer for your boys. They will appreciate it later in life. (Maybe they're appreciating it right now.)
ReplyDeleteWow. Just wow. Sending a note like that...wow. You are so right to hold that card back.
ReplyDeleteGood for you, protecting the boys. What a horrible insensitive person sends a card like that??!!
ReplyDeleteGeez.
PS: stick a present label on the presents. to: Youngest/oldest from Uncle/cousin.
ReplyDeleteToss the card in the trash. All the kids need to know is that the extended family (using the term loosely, very loosely) thought to send a present. Nothing more.
Seems to me like he is imposing his OWN guilt onto you. I like ADoC's suggestion.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I think I'd toss that card too.
ReplyDeleteNessa- You crack me up. :)
ReplyDeleteFV- I usually go with my gut. Which is why the gifts were opened and retaped. The card will eventually get trashed, but right now my gut says to tuck it away.
ADoC - I actually never thought of relabeling the gifts correctly. Genius! And I agree, it was wonderful that they sent gifts.
Lil Dreamer - You have no idea how right you are. He hadn't spoken to his brother in 3 years and the last words they had were REALLY bad. He needs a therapist. And it's not me... or my kids.
Diane - most likely that's what I'll do. But for now, it's on my dresser.
ReplyDeleteOh my goodness. Seems like the a-hole gene is strong in that side of the family, huh?
ReplyDeleteWow. Well, it's just a good thing you got to the box first. A little filtering will go a long way in preserving their emotions. Good luck! And PS~LOVE the Christmas gift you're giving your husband. AWESOME.
ReplyDeleteYou're a good mom. Your boys are lucky to have you.
ReplyDeleteYour husband is cute. I always try to tell my husband what I got him and he has to tell me to wait. I can't!!!!!! giggle I love giving gifts.
ReplyDeleteI agree with AoDC - and I hope that, if just for one day, there are no reminders and you can be at peace with your family.
Good for you! Those kids have been through enough already this season. What a jackass!
ReplyDeleteYep, toss the note...they certainly do not need to see it...and as always, you're a good mom for knowing that.
ReplyDeleteI just love that Tony was sure the box was for him even though it was clearly marked and his name was nowhere on the box. I wonder if he though you had gone mad and asked the ex-inlaw to help you purchase a gift for him. LOL!
ReplyDeleteAs for the boys, I definitely agree to relabel the gifts in the correct manor and let it go...
Hopefully the kids can enjoy the gifts as they are without the "guilt".
ReplyDeleteI'd like to bitch slap him. Tell me his real name and where he lives.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Lola